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People sticking random objects up their bums has doubled in 5 years

People sticking random objects up their bums has doubled in 5 years

BRITS are a pain in the bum for the NHS as the number of objects removed from bottoms has more than DOUBLED in the last five years.

There were just 78 operations in 2016 but this rocketed to 184 in 2021

It coincides with the pandemic forcing tricksy lovers apart 

Objects surgeons discovered down under range from sex toys to barbed fish hooks, and even an ice cube tray.

Technically, these are known within the NHS as “rectal foreign bodies”.

An NHS spokesman said: “If people have a problem they should come forward for care regardless of any precarious positions they may be in.

“When it comes to issues like this typical NHS pathways would still apply, if it’s an urgent emergency call 999, if it’s less urgent you could get in contact with your GP or pharmacist or call NHS 111.”

 

 

The figures were based on Freedom of Information requests from 30 NHS Trusts which responded.

In 2017, there were 129 such ops, 145 in 2018, 202 in 2019 and 196 in 2020.

In 2019 for North West Anglia NHS Foundation trust alone there were 24 surgeries to remove objects from patients’ bums.

The trust, which has hospitals in Peterborough, Hinchingbrooke and Stamford and Rutland, performed the same number of operations in 2020.

At the University Hospitals of North Midlands, surgeons found a metal bar, a carrot and a lanyard in patients’ bums.

In County Durham and Darlington NHS Foundation Trust doctors recovered a whopping 14 sex toys, alongside two root vegetables, an onion, a hoover attachment and a saltshaker.

In the North West Anglia NHS Foundation Trusts, patients had come in with a plastic cup, a two types of bouncy balls, a toilet brush and peanuts hidden inside.

The Calderdale and Huddersfield surgeons discovered drugs inside patients, alongside a knitting needle, bottles and bottle caps.

Rotherham doctors, meanwhile, found a nail gun nail, tissue paper, an ear plug and presumably a very worried person’s ring.

For Northern Lincolnshire and Goole patients, they had to ask hospitals to remove a lemon, a shower gel bottle, a chisel handle and can of deodorant.

And in the Royal Bolton Hospital, they said that they would return an object they had removed, if the patient asked for it back.

But most objects were destroyed unless the patient was in police custody when it is picked up by an unlucky copper.

The data also contains records of hemorrhoids – lumps inside and around the anus – which have to be removed.

And some patients claimed to have accidentally sat on these objects while naked.

This is despite many living apart, with people aged 18-34 seeing their amorous activity drop by a third, or by over a fifth for people over 35.

This may have come about as the Bath-based sexual wellness brand claimed 52 per cent of couples had a more adventurous sex life since lockdown began.

And according to their survey 71 per cent of couples planned to stick to their spicier routines after the pandemic ends.

This included a spike in solo activities, with 57 per cent of partners sexting and 32 per cent more trying video sex.

At the time, Lovehoney sex and relationship expert Anabelle Knight said: “Inevitably, overall sexual activity has declined, because so many of us are obliged to live apart. 

 “But many couples are sexting and enjoying video sex sessions through Facetime, Zoom and Skype to make separation more bearable.

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